"What are your symptoms?" I asked my payshunt.

"I don't feel so good.  My nose is stuffy, my throte hurts and I jes feel blah."

"Blah?  I repeated, trying to understand the human malady of Blah. 

"Yeah, blah" replyed my blond hared payshunt.  She stroked my fur and continued with her descripshun.  "My body feels week and outta sorts.  It's how you feel when your coming down with a cold."

"Are you having any pain?  I inquired. 

"No", said the payshunt. 

A dyaggnosis was at hand.  "Get some extra rest, don't go to work,  drink a lotta water and pet the kitty.  Visit a bunch of cat blogs.  Take a nap.  Eet sumthing lite, like Temtayshuns.   If you start to get a feevur call my offise."

So now you know what I'll be doing all day.  I'm taking good care of my payshunt.  She gots her water and she gots her kitty.  Me! 

When she pets my eers I purr reely hard. I'd haff to say she has exsellint stile.  She duzzint skratch too hard and she duz it as long as I preeskribe.  She runs her hand down my bak and I'll look up and she skratchis my chin and I leeeeen into it.  Ah, so nice!

If she stops, I jes stick my nose into her hand direckting her to kontinue this fizzical therapee.  To give xtra inkurigemint I give gentle lingerring headbonks.  She puts kissies on the top of my head.

I no its not profeshonull to laff at a payshunt, but this lady has cats all over her!  Not just me.  On her klose!  Oh, meow out loud allreddy...


Sumtimes your payshunt makes a diagnoses.  In this pitchur thare is a wee little spot behind my left eer.  See it?  Thare's no fur!  I had ringworm when I wuz a kitten.  That wuz a long time ago.   So I asked my payshunt to look again cairfully.  She saw a skratch! 

The plot thickens.

Did I do that?  Did I rip out sum of my beautipuss furs?  Or was that whare Tenny bunnykikked me?  

Hmmmm.  

I preeskribe watching the spot and if it gets bigger, begin treetment with a my konizole kreem.  Then go see Dr. Bobo or Dr. Dana and get sum pills.  Pills?  Oh bast, what am I saying?????  No, no, no!  

"Calm down dear boy.  Lets just wate and see" said paysunt Mommy.  

Ah, the sweet voyce of reeson.  Meezerlove, for evryone...